If you really knew me...
So, if you really knew me, you would know that I love personality tests... I love the Myers-Briggs, strengths finder, love languages, all of em...
For those who are wondering, I’m an INFP, my top strengths are Input, Ideation, Adaptability and I love quality time. And according to the test I took online from TIME Magazine, I’m Hans Solo in Star Wars...
But I remember when I first started taking some of these personality tests, I didn’t like it. I would take these tests and in getting the results and be like, “Hmm, this sounds nothing like me.” As time went on I realized that the problem was not the tests themselves (at least the good ones), but the problem was that when I was answering the questions on the test, I was answering them not based on who I am... but rather, I was answering them on who I would like to be... Who I wish I was...
Instead of responding truthfully about who I am and who I’m not... I was pretending and hoping that I was someone different...
And so this is the point: That unless I am able to accept who I am and who I am not... unless I stop pretending to be someone I am not, I will never happy and more importantly, I will never holy.
That’s because one of the first tasks of being a human being, one of the first tasks of becoming a Saint, is being able to admit and answer the question, “Who are you” with accuracy and honesty.
In the gospel today, we encounter John the Baptist and all of the people are wondering, “who are you?” And John the Baptist answers in two ways... positively saying: I am... I am “the voice crying out in the desert...” I am “John the Baptist”... but he also answers in the negative: I am NOT... I am NOT the messiah, I am NOT the one who will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.
John the Baptist knew who he was... and who he was not.... And this is what we call true humility.
And if we can answer both of these questions (who am I, who am I not) accurately, then we will find that we are living the virtue of humility.
St. Augustine says: “If you should ask me what are the ways of God (ways of holiness), I would tell you that the first is humility, the second is humility and the third is humility... if humility does not precede all that we do, our efforts are meaningless.”
If we want to be holy, we must first learn to acquire the virtue of humility. To know who you are and who you are not... and to live in that truth.
Should be pretty easy right? I mean you don’t have to DO anything to gain humility, you simply need to acknowledge the truth of who you are and who you are not. Simple right?
The question then is, “Why do we find so few people who are truly humble?”
Far too often, instead of acknowledging who I am and who I am not, if I’m honest, I prefer to pretend. I pretend that I’m really good at this one thing. I pretend that I have it all together. I pretend that this thing that I do is easy when it’s really hard for me. I pretend that I’m someone I’m not.
Why do we prefer to pretend? Because we’re afraid. We are afraid that if you knew who I really am and who I am not... you’ll reject me, you won’t love me, you’ll leave me. That’s our greatest fear, is it not?, even greater than public speaking. We’re afraid that if the world knew who I really am, they would find me unlovable...
Brothers and sisters, God already knows who you really are. And He knows who you are not. And he still chooses to love you anyways. In fact, St. Paul says that “God proves his love for us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Or as we heard in the second reading: “He saved us through the bath of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he richly poured out on us through Jesus Christ our savior, so that we might be justified by his grace and become heirs in hope of eternal life.”
Why? Because by virtue of your baptism, you have “become heirs”, you have been made a child of God. And just as the Heaven opened up and a voice said to Jesus, “You are my beloved son.” God says to you, “You are my beloved son/daughter”
In our prayer, Jesus wants the real you. What he doesn’t want is the pretend version of you... He wants the you that is hurting, the you that is struggling, the you that sometimes fails. He wants the you that has been wounded, that perhaps doesn’t have it all together. He wants the you that isn’t the best. It’s ok if you’re sad, confused, and angry. Why because it is precisely there that he wants to transform your life, it is there that he wants to pour his grace into, it is there that he wants to be your savior.
Today, stop pretending to be someone you’re not and start being who you truly are. It is at that point, where God can begin to make you into who you were meant to be.
